A really bad night of sleep, and headache
I survived.
The day before yesterday a paper was due for camera ready. Team rushed a bit to get the paper polished. To be fair, I wasn't really that involved in the process because my role in this project (my first project) had been peripheral. But seeing team pullin almost all nighter in the chat channel I thought I should at least stay a bit late in case that they have some random quest for me, which they did.
My sleep schedule had been more or less consistent for the last half a year beacuse of a nausea issue that I had. There was no way around it. If I don't get enough sleep I get extremely nauceus the next day. Sometimes could barely eat.
Yesterday was an exception and there were consequences. I woke up late with a slight migraine / tension headache (I don't really know) that persisted and worsened throughout the day. Near the end I could barely type out words on a computer.
At some instant I must felt something was more wrong than it should be. There was no nausea, but the headache was close to intolerable (but still tolerable enough that I decided it's no emergency, since I've had those before, too, no clue why).
Went to bed early. Couldn't sleep for two hours. By the time I gave up it was that feeling of the entire body being drained and brain being dry. Plus the headache. God.
Took a walk to the sea. A homeless man wandered next to some blvd. Two indian(?) guys walked out of a corporate building, chatting. Wanted to find the shoreline because I just moved. Walked. Walked. Thought legs would give out, but knew going home would be no help. Can't sleep anyway. Ended up somewhere overseeing Manhanttan.
Wow. It was beautiful.
It was residential area with a lot of chairs. A couple was sitting there tasting each other's tongues. I didn't know if they noticed me. But it was a warm and breezy summer night and it was high times for tongue tasting.
Acroos the river, some boat beamed with low-quality pop music. The city was so full of light as if it was ... intoxicated. (and sleep deprived)
So much life around me.
But where is my life? Devoured by ambition (which at the stage is no more than a dream)? Or fear of lack of ambition? Oh ... sleepless thoughts. But time keeps going.
Some Russian (and Lu Xun, who wrote something similar)
Tears of a stranger are just water.
Rose DeMaris
When pain enters the body ... it ... outwits the amulet